nostalgic, warming, charming, rude and occasionally quite troubling


April 23rd
11:11 pm

(Source: franeurysm, via kitkatcoffeehouse)

April 23rd
9:55 pm

April 23rd
9:54 pm

(Source: naturehomes)

April 23rd
9:46 pm

(via skaa-noodle)

April 23rd
3:32 pm

Miserable day all round.

Miserable day all round.

April 23rd
6:00 am

(Source: madisonhshapiro, via taupestry)

April 23rd
4:50 am

adoredvintage:

Oh hello Spring floral! This dress arriving in the shop today!

adoredvintage:

Oh hello Spring floral! This dress arriving in the shop today!

(via taupestry)

April 23rd
3:58 am

Okay, so, something has been bothering me recently and I need to vent, but I also want people to know about it, because there are ways of sexual assault that come in the littlest of forms. I recently went out to my favourite club with my best friend. I haven’t been out for some months and since the last time I now I have a boyfriend. When we were out we naturally ran into a load of people we know, one was quite a good friend who was out with a friend of his. AJ is the only name I know for him, I don’t know his last name, nor his birth given name, I can’t even find him on facebook but AJ has been hovering around my friendship group for 6 months or so. I haven’t particularly been enthralled by his company before, I always found him quite annoying and rude. So within half an hour of us walking into this club we see them, AJ put his hand round my waist and kissed me on the cheek, when I didn’t move over to make this easier for him he tried to kiss me either on my mouth or closer on my face to my mouth, there’s no telling which he was trying to do, as he didn’t get that far. He spilt his entire drink down the side of me as i pushed him away and moved my head and then he said ‘it was my fault that I was soaking’ The bouncer pulled him over and had a word with him. I don’t know if it was because he was too drunk, or if he could see I clearly wasn’t responding to AJ in an open manner.

I’ll justify why I didn’t want to be kissed on the face, not that I should have to. One: I don’t like like to be touched, all of my friends know this about me, and AJ has spent enough time around me to be able to pick this up by now. Two: I especially don’t like to be touched by people I don’t know/like in anyway, it takes me a long time to be comfortable with people, and then and only then, may you touch me. Three: I have a boyfriend and I find it to be disrespectful, not because he is a jealous person, but because he is the only person I want to kiss me. 

So I went outside to have a cigarette, stressed out by the blatant lack of respect I was shown. AJ was out there and came up to me to explain that ‘he has hundreds of female friends that would let him kiss them on the cheek, and he was a nice guy' when I asked him to 'only kiss them on the cheek and not people who clearly don't want you to' he decided it was extremely important to let everyone in the smoking area know that I was 'crazy', 'a bitch', 'a prick'. He did this by shouting it very loudly, going around to every group and pointing me out, getting in the middle of my group and shouting it in my face (like the ickle baby waa waa he is) I greeted this personal and vicious attack by carrying on my conversation with the people I was talking to and whenever someone would look up or he would get in my face I would calmly and rationally say 'I just asked you not to kiss me on the face.' 

EVEN LATER in the evening he tried to cut me out of a circle of our friends, then turned around with a smile and said, ‘only joking, sorry about earlier’ and put his arm around me. I replied with ‘well, I’m not’ shrugging his hand off my shoulder. What did he do? Well naturally he started shouting the names he called me above all over again, in a loud club where sadly no one could hear what a terrible person I am. I just walked away and went to the bar. We didn’t see him for the rest of the evening, and assume he got too drunk and got kicked out.

There are a few aspects of my personality I feel I should explain so you can get a better grasp of the kind of person I am and how this interaction is really quite impressive haha.

Now after a few drinks I tend to get aggressive, I’m a naturally short tempered person, very stressy and moody most of the time, and when I have been insulted in the past, I’ve made a personal attack on the person themselves or sometimes involved physical violence. I could see that the majority of the people in the club I was in had half a brain and could see that this AJ character was clearly deranged, so luckily I only had to be calm and rational about it. And I would just like to mention how glad I am that that is all that came of it. With examples like this I feel like we are fighting a losing battle with feminism, most people can’t see how this is a form of sexual assault, or understand how threatening it can be, please refer to the shrodingers rapist article I’ve reblogged below. It’s sad but I don’t feel like getting overly angry or aggressive would have helped the situation one iota but I’m glad I was able to handle this responsibly and calmly, I hope it really displayed quite how unhinged this man was.

Secondly, I have a social anxiety disorder, that although I am quite open with on here, I tend not to shout about it in my day to day life. NOT because I am ashamed about it, but because I take a british, stiff upper lip attitude toward it and am quite a private person. It isn’t something I recommend but it works for me. I’ve gone through therapy and have come out feeling much better, but there are still places I avoid. In my home town these are few and far between, but it does include pretty much all of the clubs in my area (which is a lot, we’re a big student city) I frequent maybe three of the thirty clubs we have here, and the club in this story is like a second home, I’ve always had the most fun, with people I know, or have grown to know. The bouncers have always been lovely, and usually have totally supported me in pursuit to slap all the misogynists outta there, which really isn’t that often, because it’s a good atmosphere. This circumstance however has really shocked me to my core. I don’t feel comfortable in one of the few places I can go to unwind. I feel as though there should have been a more serious consequence to this mans actions, the bouncers were all in ear shot at the time of all these attacks, I’m fairly confident they saw it all happen and yet did very little to help. Also, I don’t think I’ve experienced something so scary there before, and although at the time I didn’t show how scared I was, I’m not sure I even realised, looking back on it I’m so scared of what could have happened. 

People need to know things like this happen every day to women, and it is terrifying. If you’re a man, and believe me, I have the best male friends, I know pretty much all of you are nothing like this, but please please please respect when a girl says she doesn’t want to be touched, respect when a person says they don’t want to be touched. Read the signals, read their body language, try to understand where they’re coming from. Respect everyone, respect their decisions and respect their right to make them.

Let’s all just try to live in respect of each other and try our best to understand where each other is coming from.

April 23rd
2:46 am

aerodienamic:

Photos of famous landmarks while they were still under construction.

(Source: yourackdisciprine, via lawyerupasshole)

April 23rd
2:45 am

You want to say Hi to the cute girl on the subway. How will she react? Fortunately, I can tell you with some certainty, because she’s already sending messages to you. Looking out the window, reading a book, working on a computer, arms folded across chest, body away from you = do not disturb. So, y’know, don’t disturb her. Really. Even to say that you like her hair, shoes, or book. A compliment is not always a reason for women to smile and say thank you. You are a threat, remember? You are Schrödinger’s Rapist. Don’t assume that whatever you have to say will win her over with charm or flattery. Believe what she’s signaling, and back off.

If you speak, and she responds in a monosyllabic way without looking at you, she’s saying, “I don’t want to be rude, but please leave me alone.” You don’t know why. It could be “Please leave me alone because I am trying to memorize Beowulf.” It could be “Please leave me alone because you are a scary, scary man with breath like a water buffalo.” It could be “Please leave me alone because I am planning my assassination of a major geopolitical figure and I will have to kill you if you are able to recognize me and blow my cover.”

On the other hand, if she is turned towards you, making eye contact, and she responds in a friendly and talkative manner when you speak to her, you are getting a green light. You can continue the conversation until you start getting signals to back off.

The fourth point: If you fail to respect what women say, you label yourself a problem.

There’s a man with whom I went out on a single date—afternoon coffee, for one hour by the clock—on July 25th. In the two days after the date, he sent me about fifteen e-mails, scolding me for non-responsiveness. I e-mailed him back, saying, “Look, this is a disproportionate response to a single date. You are making me uncomfortable. Do not contact me again.” It is now October 7th. Does he still e-mail?

Yeah. He does. About every two weeks.

This man scores higher on the threat level scale than Man with the Cockroach Tattoos. (Who, after all, is guilty of nothing more than terrifying bad taste.) You see, Mr. E-mail has made it clear that he ignores what I say when he wants something from me. Now, I don’t know if he is an actual rapist, and I sincerely hope he’s not. But he is certainly Schrödinger’s Rapist, and this particular Schrödinger’s Rapist has a probability ratio greater than one in sixty. Because a man who ignores a woman’s NO in a non-sexual setting is more likely to ignore NO in a sexual setting, as well.

So if you speak to a woman who is otherwise occupied, you’re sending a subtle message. It is that your desire to interact trumps her right to be left alone. If you pursue a conversation when she’s tried to cut it off, you send a message. It is that your desire to speak trumps her right to be left alone. And each of those messages indicates that you believe your desires are a legitimate reason to override her rights.

For women, who are watching you very closely to determine how much of a threat you are, this is an important piece of data.

an excerpt from Phaedra Starling’s “Schrödinger’s Rapist: or a guy’s guide to approaching strange women without being maced” (via lostgrrrls)

HOLY FUCK THE TRUTH.

Can every one of my male followers read this? And please, before you get defensive (“I would never rape anyone!”) keep in mind, women being afraid of Shrodinger’s Rapists (oh my god i still can’t get over the encompassing brilliance of this phrase) is a conditioned, learned response from being immersed in rape culture and the evolution of sexism and sexual violence in our society from the day we’re born. And unfortunately, it’s very difficult to unlearn without the efforts of all genders to dismantle it. Which is where you come in.

(via lil-ith)

It’s also just rude and disrespectful to patently ignore what someone has told you regarding their personal space, body, and time. Get a clue.

(via geekdomme)

I will always reblog this. Always.

(via myherocomplex)

(via awake---mysoul)

April 22nd
12:31 pm

wonderingaboutfandoms:

letyourjourneystart:

According to chemistry, alcohol IS a solution.

image

(via kitkatcoffeehouse)

April 22nd
11:55 am


Branches of an Almond Tree in Blossom (Interpretation in Red), 1890, by Vincent van Gogh

Branches of an Almond Tree in Blossom (Interpretation in Red), 1890, by Vincent van Gogh

(Source: aesthesos, via chaeronea)

April 21st
9:27 pm

expresswithsilence:

Mikko Kuorinki, Wall Piece with 200 Letters

Changing texts, removable letters, mouldings. 175 x 320 cm.
Quote from: Elias Canetti: The Human Province (1973)

expresswithsilence:

Mikko Kuorinki, Wall Piece with 200 Letters

Changing texts, removable letters, mouldings. 175 x 320 cm.

Quote from: Elias Canetti: The Human Province (1973)

April 21st
10:39 am

(via enthusejots)

April 19th
9:47 pm

waiting for alex for ages but too into my own outfit for my own good…

like its really blurry but also really cool..

s.t.